Getting Me Back

 Here I am again trying something new.  This week I start a liquid-only fast.  I am doing this for not only my health but to gain some spiritual guidance.  

I've recently weighed in at 270 pounds, This is the heaviest I have ever been, and my weight most of my life averaged at 150.  Over the past year, I gained over 100 pounds due to well, I could go on, but does it matter in the scheme of things?

What matters is I gave up on myself.  I let other things cloud my judgment, and I just sat down and started letting the world take over my body.  

I'm not going to let that happen anymore.  With God's strength, I will take my body back, just as I have taken my mind back.  

I have learned a lot through this journey of losing my body.  

I learned what it is like to be in a body that you can no longer handle. 

I know what it is like to try to walk a few yards and be out of breath. 

I know what it is like to barely be able to turn over in bed.  

I know what it is like to crave food every single moment of the day.  

I know what it is like to feel uncomfortable in your own skin.  

I know what it is like to only have stretchable clothes fit you.

I'm through with all of that.  I'm going to make things work for me instead of me work for them.  I can take this control back.  I just have to put in the work.

The thing is, I sat there and let it happen.  I sat there and ate the extra food when I was upset about something.  It was so comforting to eat a banana split when I was sad or troubled.

It felt good to eat BBQ with the family and overeat because the food tasted oh so good.

I forgot that my body is my temple, and I have to protect it just as much as my mind.

Why was it so easy to block out all of the negative energy from my mind and cut off people who tried to hold me back?  Why couldn't I block out all the harmful food?

Well, yesterday was my first full day of liquids only.  It was rough, but I have an accountability partner. We are helping each other make healthy choices through this journey.  We are only doing it for two weeks to jump start learning what habits make me overeat.  

Educating yourself on what your habits are is the best thing first.  Knowing yourself inside and out is how you start to make a significant change in your life.

Stop staying in the very place you want to move out of and start moving.

It takes time, but once you're sick and tired, you will do it.  Don't let it be on your death bed when you can't change things!

Until Next time my friends.

CJ