Where We are Today

 

When I think of where I am today and where I was yesterday, I feel like i'm in a foreign body.

Let me explain that real quick for you.  Yesterday meaning the past and today meaning my present.  Most of my life I felt like I didn't matter, I didn't exist, I was somebodies something, but I was never just ME.  

I still have most people who know me that call me Christina, Chrissy.  I haven't stood firm on anyone calling me CJ, which is the name I choose for myself.  I am defining myself now instead of letting my family, friends or even the uniform I wore for 20 years define me.

The most freeing feeling is that I CAN DO ANYTHING.  The one thing I don't seem to understand is that so many people in the world don't understand this concept, or refuse to live by it.

I lived in a box for most of my life, confined in my mind and scared to break free.  

I'm no longer scared of what people think, how they feel about my growth or their UN-support of my life.  

I posted a few minutes ago concerning my books and podcast.  Out of almost 500 followers and almost 300 friends, only 5 people actually pay attention on average to what i'm doing.

I'm OK with that.  I'm doing me, if your not digging what i'm doing, move on.  Don't cling onto the Christina or Chrissy of yesterday because i'm moving into CJ

Where I am today has taken many years for me to get here, to be free of expectations.

Sure, I struggle, sure I have days where I don't know what lies ahead, but i'm not worried about it.

Gods got my back, good or bad, i'm going to smile and let my light shine.

Here is the thing.  If you are only happy when things are going right and lash out when their going wrong, you need to check yourself.  If your running around lashing out all the time, you need to check yourself.

Life is so much more than the moments that we allow our emotions and thoughts to consume the light inside of us that pushes us to succeed.

Am I rich?  NO!, but i'm succeeding inside the world that I am creating for myself.

This is me, this is CJ.  I may struggle financially at times, emotionally at others, but i'm living my truth and if your not, don't block my light!