The Wolf

 

Yesterday someone asked me why I don't promote myself much.

I have thought about this, and I put my literary work out there, my podcasts, whatever I'm up to, but I don't repeat it.

I believe I put it out into the universe, and people will see what they want to see and gravitate to the things that interest them.

I always have and will always be a server of other people.  I am not putting myself down, but I am more interested in what motivates others and why they do what they do instead of being in the limelight myself.

I think deep down. I am afraid of being inadequate.  If I'm insufficient, I have to live with the negativity that people bring to the table. 

I had to deal with some negativity yesterday, and I did not deal with it well.  I don't mind constructive negativity because that helps us grow, but when people attack for no reason, that boils my skin.

Well, as most of you know, I'm a natural redhead, and that part of the myth rings true. My blood was boiling, and I wanted to rip things apart.  I stayed calm as I do, but it will take me a few days to get that bad taste out of my mouth.

I often focus on other people and not myself.  I focus on others, so I don't allow the negativity to come into my world.  When I focus on others, I don't have to listen to the negativity. I don't have to hear people's harsh words.

You may ask yourself if I'm hiding from the world?  Not, I can face the world. What I choose to do is not allow the ugly to creep in.

One thing I have learned in my 43 years on earth is that people are too self-centered.  The care and self-preservation want is higher than the selflessness want.  Yes, there are a few out there that will give you the shirt off of their back, but trust me, that tribe is far and few.

Thus, I stay to myself and choose who I will collaborate with and allow into my inner circle.  Once in a while, a wolf in sheep clothing creeps in, people tend to hide their intentions until they receive what they want.

Once identified, remove them, then I will take a few days to recoup my energy and move on.  It's that simple.

You have to remember this as well.  To preserve your sense of self-worth, you cannot dwell on someone else's negative energy.  You have to determine the amount of yourself you are willing to give to the world and other people.  You also have to realize what you are ready to put up with and what you will not.

There is a place for all of us in this world.  I genuinely believe that, but most will only think they can be at the top.  I'm ok with their beliefs as I accept everyone for who they are.  I choose not to walk beside them as I follow my path.

Until next time my friends.

CJ