Journaling back to ME!

 

I started journaling again.  Over the past few weeks, I felt like I was losing my purpose again.  I was feeling week in my mind, and my spirit was tired.  I couldn't shake this feeling of insecurity and self-doubt, and every time I scrolled through my news feeds and asked for feedback, it seemed that everyone was getting what they needed, and I heard crickets.  

I just felt like I came up hitting a brick wall every single time, and I couldn't figure out why.  

I started dreading this book "How to discover Life's purpose after 30" by Mia Bolden since I'm interviewing her this week on The Authors Porch and decided to go along with the Journal prompts.  I am always up for a challenge and self-discovery.  

The book had me write down things I found myself good at now and when I was a while, what I liked to do and what I found in my quiet time.  I revealed a lot to myself by putting in work.  

I found that I still have work to do within myself.  Instead of seeking others' approval, I need to accept my approval and work on my doubts.  Until I can accept myself unconditionally and believe in myself, how can I ever believe others when they believe in me?

I had thought I put this work in already, but I have been sleeping on myself, and all that crept back up somewhere in time.

I loved that I have discovered this, and I need always put in the self-work.  I feel more at peace knowing that the world isn't against me, and I need to work on myself to keep my mind in check continually.

This is the face of anxiety and depression.  It's not something you can cure with a magic pill or do work one time; it's something you have to work on and give yourself grace for continually.

I'm back to journaling and seeking guidance from God first and foremost.  I also need to realize that NOT EVERYONE is a part of my tribe.  I need to seek advice from a small few instead of everyone.  This is paramount in protecting my peace.

The world is a funny place. It's so big when you put yourself out there over social media.  I enjoy hosting shows and writing books.  Regardless of how many people see it, it brings me joy.

Of course, I want people to see both because I bring people on to provide them a space to get noticed, and my books are stories that I have created to provide an escape for others.  

Either way, I learned doing my journaling is I am exactly where I need to be, and through the grace of God, I will continue doing this for the rest of my days.

I hope you have a great week.

Until next time my friends.

CJ